Is it OK that I dont really like my son anymore, or should I feel guilty?

Well that's great that your other 3 children turned out great. But your son needs your help. I dont think you don't like him. You don't like what he's doing as most parents don't. He needs to be put in a rehab center for help. That's what he needs. And why be embarred that's just the way family works. You always have a black sheep in the family and sounds like he's it. I mean i feel for you going through this but you need to sit him down and tell him that you love him and you want him to get all the help that's out there for drug addicts. Good luck and god bless!