Really lost...need someone to care?

Ok living away from home, with boyfriend and his family. He is at uni and going through exams, ignores me. Understandable because it is exam time, but he is either online or studying. I returned to school this year, grades going well. Haven't got a friend in sight. Up till the beginning of the year i was happy, grades where ok. I had friends and life was good, boyfriend was good and we where always together. I did have depression about three years ago, i didn't get any help with that medication or counseling, i got over it though thanks to my boyfriend. But now i just feel hollow, I returned to school 18 years old, that probally doesnt help when your two years older then everyone else, i was a year older anyway before i took a gap year but i didnt really think it mattered. Sure my grades are good getting a high to very high achievements, i have no friend just people i sit with. I force myself to help others so i feel needed and like i actually exist, i've got secrets that i need to tell someone or i'll explode, but i know if i tell someone they will judge me on them. I want to cry but haven't got the energy to even do that. I know life is going well for me, im out of home, living with the love of my life. But i'd give it all up just to be able to have someone that actually gives a crap about what and who i really am, i know my boyfriend should and all that but he's in his second year out of three in uni and rather busy, i dont want to bug the people close to me with my problems cause im sure they are worse then mine, i want someone to care but...dammit i just dont know, i have tried going to my school councillors, that failed. they didn't get it either. I'm thinking now of getting either medication to just stop hurting or just ending it.